Monday, August 10, 2009

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here



Here I hang from a 46-D

While the Big G just sits there

Punching holes in Cheerios.

Hi Mom! Say hi to Pete and all the guys!

- Anonymous Viet Nam Poet

Dante Alighieri's famous quote from his Divina Commedia hung in large red letters over the arrival gate at Hue-Phu Bai air base in 1968. To many of the young men and women who fought in Viet Nam, the concept of Hell took on new meaning during their tours of duty. You not only came face-to-face with all your fears, you had to do it in a nightmarish environment totally foreign to Americans. The question that often arises among a group of vets is, "Was it Heaven or was it Hell?" Hell if I know. It was more like an interlude in the theater of the absurd. Since only about 25% of all Americans believe in the concept of hell, while 90% believe in heaven, maybe we should pause and kick around the idea that 'the Kingdom of Heaven is in us and around us' (from the Book of Thomas). In his book,The Things they Carried, Tim O'Brien discusses what a 'true' war story looks like, what it sounds like, how it might make you feel, and the pictures it might form in your mind. If you look carefully at how Tim talks about a true war story, they look ever so similar to the Parables of Jesus or to the tales of Buddha. Many of these early stories told by Jesus and Buddha bordered on the surreal. They have no real moral for the reader and no explanation that is the same or even satisfactory to each reader or listener. It's almost as if each person walks away from the story understanding it differently than anyone else. And that's why we love them. They are just stories. Stories that make us laugh. Stories that make us cry. Stories that challenge us to confront our own fears, biases, prejudices, and views of the world, based on the experiences we bring to them. Before I departed for Viet Nam, my granddaddy provided me with the briefest, (therefore best) and most absurd advice I was to receive. "Son, when you get to Viet Nam make sure you keep some matches wrapped in plastic on you at all times. You never know when you are going to need a light."

The Kingdom of Heaven is like the yeast that a woman

took and mixed in with three measures of flour until

All of it was leavened.

- Matthew 13:33

The following is a true war story. If you don't like it, hang around until I tell it again...I am sure it will improve! The Kingdom of Heaven is like this helicopter crew flying out to a firebase overlooking the valley where Khe Sanh was located. On their way there the pilot called back to the crewchief, Danny Dulude, to tell him they were about to fly through a rainbow. Danny stood in the passageway of the CH-46 D helicopter, between the pilot and co-pilot and witnessed a sight he had never before beheld. Dead ahead was a perfectly circular rainbow, in the valley, between the mountains they were flying through. It was an awesome sight. There was no beginning and no end. For a moment Danny could not recall the last time he had seen any colors quite so bright and quite so beautiful. Danny stepped back into the cargo area of the aircraft and told his gunner to go into the cockpit and take a look. As the helicopter made its descent into the firebase, all hell broke loose. Time froze. While the helicopter crew was admiring Nature's phenomena, the bad guys were training their guns on the helicopter. One of the 30 caliber rounds that came through the fuselage had ripped through Danny's calf. Danny lay there, in the haze of sudden shock, with calf muscles and tendons hanging out of his flight suit. His gunner drew a knife and started toward Danny. Danny screamed at him, "No man, don't cut it off, it's still attached!" The gunner told him to relax, the knife was for cutting his flight suit pant leg off, so he could get a tourniquet on the wound. Danny passed out thinking about the time he caught his foot in his tricycle when he was just a little boy.

True story. Of course, Danny lived and still has all his appendages, even though some of them are a little scarred. He lives in Upstate New York now with his wife and has three sons and believe it or not, he collects knives. When asked about Viet Nam Danny will tell you, "It don't mean nothin'." What meant something to me was Danny's unbelievable enthusiasm for life. It was remarkable to me how he could find meaning and joy in the most mundane aspects of life. Danny not only saved a lot of Marines, he healed a lot of souls. No disrespect to my granddaddy, but Danny provided me with all the light I needed in Viet Nam and still manages to shine a little on me from time to time.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

- Dylan Thomas

Until next time,

I remain,

Just another Zoroastrian Crewchief wondering if anybody in Eureka has a light...